I like it when it rains hard. It sounds like white noise everywhere, which is like silence but not empty.
— Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (via draculahs)
I enjoy controlled loneliness. I like wandering around the city alone. I’m not afraid of coming back to an empty flat and lying down in an empty bed. I’m afraid of having no one to miss, of having no one to love.
it was junior year and
i was given a slip of paper
asking what my grades were,
what sports I played,
and what I wanted to be.
naturally, I filled them out,
because that’s what high-schoolers are supposed to do.
the fourth question kind of stumped me, though.
“what are you good at?”
it’s so general, I didn’t know what to say.
im good at riding a bike with no hands, and driving 80 miles per hour on the highway with my windows down and my music up.
im good at pushing people away, and wondering why they don’t talk to me.
im good at listening to stories and seeing the spark in their eyes as they tell them, and feeling fireworks every time I kiss you and hold your hand.
im good at feeling lonely and crying because I can’t tell anyone how I’m feeling.
but, naturally, I answered math, because that was my highest grade, and that’s what high-schoolers are supposed to do.
— rants inspired by a sunday night in october (via twisted—spirit)